Hello. It’s me, Elektra Flora. I’m back!
My artwork is about me- a chic, unique, && petite Sagittarius Rising obsessed with music festivals always going on an adventure. I’m out exploring the world learning new things, meeting new people, expanding my horizons, and then I come back to my writing or livestream/vlog to report my findings from the Taurus Sun [Ego] && Pisces Moon [Emotional] perspectives. My multidimensional artwork has been about my human experience through an astrological lens.
This little human is currently obsessed with dresses especially from Vanishing Fae formally known as Disco Lemonade. The handmade dancewear brand has helped me blossom into who I truly am meant to be - a magical fairy. When I wear these dresses I radiate from the inside out. I have confidence and love for not only myself, but a love I want to share with everyone around me. That’s the magick of them.
Fashion and clothing should reflect personality, aura, and essence of a human. I would say I’ve stayed true to my style for most of my life; except when I was in engineering. Business professional/casual attire was required and I tried my best to look && feel stylish, but it was difficult for several reasons:
I worked in a cubicle and wanted to be comfortable doing design on a computer.
I was in a male dominated field and didn’t want to draw attention to myself.
I couldn’t maintain my weight because of extreme stress and a semi-sedentary lifestyle.
For me, when I’m wearing something that doesn’t feel like me I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m in a prison uniform. I feel like there’s a blanket over me. I feel like I’m hiding. I genuinely feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel like myself. I remember checking myself in the bathroom while at work (sometimes after a hard cry sesh by myself) hating on my outfit. Loathing this “clocking-in” and “clocking-out” mundane human existence of having to go to a job I dread being surrounded by the same people who were (no offense) sometimes boring to me. I had numerous co-workers obsessed with their work and would lose vacation time because they wouldn’t take it and it would expire. I on the other hand was always in the negative balance. I would sit with a calculator trying to figure out how I could go to all my music festivals, not get sick, and have nothing else planned for an entire year… all while trying to take my FE exam for the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th time…
IS THIS LIFE?! There were a few times I laid on the floor of my house staring at the ceiling unable to move. Complete discontentment. I didn’t believe in God or Higher Power at the time. I wondered if I was in hell. If I have to wear these fucking loafers, cashmere v-neck sweater, and kick-out cropped plaid pants one more time I’m going to scream my head off.
I used to get furious at the thought that Lady Gaga was allowed to wear a meat dress and not get locked up in a psych ward. It’s because she’s an “artist” and is “making a statement.” If I wore a meat dress to the office how long do you think it would take until I’m removed? Me being a gambling woman… I give it 15 minutes before management or HR calls me. It’s not fair. I would cry. I hated my existence. I wasn’t jealous or hating Lady Gaga. I was envious. I was envious of the fact that she was able to fully express herself, but I wasn’t. I was an engineer that had to follow a dress code. I’m NOT allowed to wear whatever I want. I’m NOT allowed to fully express myself. I’m NOT allowed to be my authentic self. I’m NOT allowed to be creative.
I didn’t understand why this was so hard not only for me, but for people around me to understand. I guess we could pull the “bipolar card” and say I’m not stable. I’m a person who doesn’t know how to “suck it up” and go to work like “everyone else.” I never judged my co-workers for their “boring lives”, if anything I was again envious, but also curious at how they were so good at this thing called life. How are they able to tolerate wearing prison uniforms and not taking vacations? Why is it that they all passed their professional engineering licensing exams and I haven’t?
This is where I started to break free from society’s norms. “The Matrix.” I had deconstructed how I originally thought and I slowly made my way out of my figurative prison. My “Walls of Jericho.” The “Home with a White Picket Fence, Marriage, College Degree, and Professional Career with Excellent Benefits” was what I was spoon fed as the definition of a successful and happy life. I aimed for that goal in life just like everyone else had and I achieved it in my early 30’s. It felt so empty though. I wasn’t happy. I was honestly depressed. I would sometimes catch myself staring out the window of my home office wishing I were a bird that could fly away from my life. The very life I created and worked so hard to obtain.
The issue wasn’t that I was struggling with imposter syndrome. I knew I was an engineer of value and contributed greatly not only to projects, but to my firms and industry. I had every right to be at the same conference table as everyone else. The thing was I felt like I was an imposter in a sense that I had the potential to do great things in other realms of life, but was just wasting my life away in some cubicle somewhere. I had big ambitious dreams in my head to create a better world for everyone. It started feeling like I was not only doing a disservice to myself at that point, but I was doing it to the world. God//Higher Power blessed me with a sense of fashion for one and here I am in some plain Jane off the rack JCrew get-up suffering in a horribly lit office with people yelling & pissed off for whatever reason (plans didn't get approved, reviewers demanding supplemental info, going over budget, contractor didn't install correctly, architects being assholes acting like they are better than engineers, ect.).
Today, I feel free. I’m divorced. I left engineering. I revamped my wardrobe getting rid of anything triggering or reminding me of “prison”. I express myself how I want and create my own schedule. I wake up everyday thanking the sun, moon, and stars for helping me find my way. They guided me back to my true path. My internal compass is now working properly.
Then: Me as a full time civil engineer at a construction site walk in September 2019.
Now: Me blogging, DJ'ing, and wearing fairy dresses in September 2024.
That’s what evolutionary astrology is all about- using the natal (birth) chart to help understand oneself better so that they can navigate this thing we call life here on Earth. Steven Forrest pushes that concept in his writings because what I’ve gathered is he feels like astrology has been big on psychoanalyzing people, but never really giving a “prescription” to help remedy their troubles. Essentially a birth chart can show where your innate strengths and weaknesses lie and once a person is aware of these traits, they can then use them to their benefit and enrich their lives. The chart becomes a navigation tool just like a road map. It helps humans stay on an evolutionary path towards ascension && higher consciousness. Think of all those fairy tales where the adventurers came to a fork in the road. For some reason one is always dark, unknown, and spooky, but a shorter path with the brighter, open, less-scary road being the longer path. Maybe these storytellers were trying to tell us something in a figurative sense…
I took a study skills course prior to taking my FE exam for the 6th time with an amazingly awesome woman named Chloe Burroughs. I learned so many life hacks that benefited me in numerous areas of my life, so that course was indeed worth every penny and more regardless of me not passing my exam. I bring up Chloe because she taught me an important concept on “creating or reducing friction” when studying. Studying is something that requires discipline and dedication that can be difficult to get into the habit of doing especially if you want to do it daily. Chloe said that if you come home after a long day of work that you should reduce as much friction as you can so that your life will flow easily into that habit. Examples - meal planning, not sitting on your couch when you first get home, and putting your phone on silent in a designated area. What happens is people (including myself) get caught up in other things like trying to plan their dinner or they get tired from working all day and plop themselves on the couch. It then gets hard to find the motivation to get back up and start something intensive like studying; but if one comes home and has their food ready, goes for a quick 5-minute walk after, and puts their phone away immediately all reducing the disruptors of flow of energy and then can easily get straight to studying.
The point I’m trying to make is that this concept mirrors life and astrology. Birth charts are unique to each individual human and they include the constellations, planets, and luminaries (sun && moon) that are made up of archetypal energies that are then activated and played out in areas of life called “houses.” Houses are the stages of life (areas) where synchronicities play out so that we can be challenged and evolve. The thing is, life is challenging but it doesn’t have to be hard. Why work against yourself when you can work with your (Higher) self? The birth chart points out innate gifts and fortunes that can lead to greater joy.
In my story, Venus in Taurus in 5th house was inconjunct (also known as quincunx, creating a 150 degree angle) to the Ascendent in Sagittarius. It was written in the stars that I had a flair for arts and creativity, but with this aspect it is going to be difficult for the planet Venus to fully shine. The angle she was making was hiding her light under the extremely fiery-bold Sagittarius rising and they had competitive instincts. There was a tug of war where my external being and sense of assertion wanted to be known as the “intellectual engineer” and I kept investing all my time and energy into that outward persona; when the real true inner values and joy was in wanting to be a “creative artist.” Once I understood that about myself, it helped me find the confidence to pursue my true passions and dreams. I started my blog, playing around on DJ’ing equipment, livestreaming, && wearing sparkly fairy dresses… all so my Higher Self could start vibrating at the right frequency.
I’m speaking from experience. I was forcing a life on myself that wasn’t meant to be and it was creating so much friction. Everything was hard and made me extremely unhappy. It sucked. I basically had to “scrap” it all and start over, but you know what? It was worth it. I’m 37 and I’ve found myself.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everyday I am working on myself spiritually, intellectually, and physically. It’s the “trifecta” of the human experience in my little world. I am sharing my little world because I genuinely hope it helps others. I originally studied civil && environmental engineering because I wanted to help people in the most literal sense ever - by building communities. I’ve already achieved that goal. I designed everything from subdivisions to water/sewer networks and even completed research in stormwater control measures to help alleviate flooding. I loved what I did, but it wasn’t what I was meant to do for the rest of my life. I have zero regrets, because I love my engineering education and having the opportunity to solve real-world problems will only make me more grateful for whatever successes I achieve in my future. It humbles me and as a matter of fact I already am grateful.
Being rich and an artist is subjective. If I were to write my current life down on paper, I’m pretty sure my 16 year old self would snicker that I’m not actually rich nor am I the next Pablo Picasso so I should get off my high horse. My 37 year old self today says “You are rich because you are free to what you want with your time.” and “You are an artist because you already created things in this world that never existed prior.”
“I was a tie dye girl living in a black && white world...”
Elektra Flora
Be yourself. Let your own inner light && colors shine. I know it’s challenging, but I’m rooting for ya.
xo,
Elektra
PS: It's important to me that I also mention Little Black Diamond (retired) && LuxMuse as two other festival fashion brands that helped me become me. They gave me the power to embrace being sexy, witchy, && feminine which was something I struggled with as a female engineer. <3333
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