The Cyclical Nature of Reality && Needing to Let Go
- Elektra Flora
- Jan 5
- 11 min read
Updated: Jan 5
2025 was a 9 Year numerology wise (2+0+2+5 = 9) && now that it's ended I'm looking forward to new beginnings. The lunar new year where the energy for "Year of the (Fire) Horse" doesn't begin until February 2026 so I still feel like this chapter hasn't fully closed. I resonate with the lunar cycles and feel like I still have time to tie up loose ends from "Year of the (Wood) Snake."
However, as this cycle does culminate to an end I am having a very difficult time coping with my losses.
The end of my marriage.
The end of my engineering career.
The loss of my apartment, vehicle, and independence.
Someone stealing my bike off a bike rack even though it was locked with a U-Lock and chain.
I lost a collection of dolls I had been preserving since I was a child as young as 2 years old.
I hate that God/Higher Power has to test me this way, but it must be for the greater good. I wonder if it’s because I’m understanding && releasing the trauma I’ve been through consciously. I can't thrive if I continue to carry burdens of any kind.
Mood:
I feel like the lyrics are focused around a toxic intimate relationship, but it can be applied to any relationship or situation where one can feel taken advantage of in every way materially, physically, && emotionally. Feeling absolutely && completely drained. A people pleaser doesn't know how to say no. The people around them including the supposed lover know it and continue to walk all over her. It's a horrible cycle of tension seeking validation yet knowing it's wrong. Instant gratification feels better than none. Craving attention and affection from someone you have no trust with and doesn't even respect you. It just seems to be the way life goes…. can't seem to let them go either. It’s so messed up yah…
One profound tidbit of knowledge I acquired in 2025 has come from a book I am obsessed with titled “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life v1” by Drunvalo Melchizedek. The book came to me through the Goddess Saraswati while spending time in Bali, Indonesia. Saraswati is the Hindu Goddess of knowledge, education, speech, music, and arts. I had a profound connection and love for her the moment she came into my life. She was the one who held my hand and led me to sacred knowledge.
Check out some photos taken back while in Uluwatu, Bali, Indonesia March 2025. This is my "Fuel for the Soul" aesthetic. I had the time to eat, read, write, study, practice yoga, and relax. I loved my time spent in Uluwatu. The blue book you see pictured is the "Ancient Secret Flower of Life v1" while the darker, black book cover is "The Book of Pluto" by Steven Forrest. I spent my time rotating between both books that were good for my spiritual development.
Quick list of my favorite places to eat, drink (non-alcoholic), & read in Uluwatu:
Gravity Hotel (Best Nasi Goreng!!)
I can’t get this particular figure out of my head and it has been imprinted in my brain. It was a piece in my puzzle I was searching for in the quest for philosophical truths that I needed in helping me with my greater understanding of life’s purpose.
It is illegal for me to scan or take photos of the book without the publisher’s permission. So instead, I have already recommended the book (Ancient Secret Flower of Life) so you can go purchase (from a locally owned book shop- ask if they can order for you!). I will however find a similar image which is this one below. It shows the elliptical path the Earth follows around the sun. Since the beginning and forever within that elliptical the Earth tilts and shifts perspectives which creates our seasons.
There is rhythm to the universe. I talked about it in my last few blogs. However, I did not realize that this entire time I’ve been leaning in to Hermetic Principle #5 “The Principle of Rhythm.” This concept rides that same thought process of ebb && flow. A cyclical nature. Constantly over and over. In an even grander scale the universe is expanding in this elliptical shape. Upwards && outwards. It’s what I had envisioned as I wrote “Back from Bali && Life is an Upward Spiral.” Us writers are visual people too…
I’ve been working through my Taurean shadow side… which is attachment && needing to let go. The mythology of Taurus is that it is the second in the zodiac. Feminine in energy && ruled by Venus. She represents the height of spring after already moving through Aries. Taurus is the first of the zodiac to be here on Earth (which is why it is the Earth element) and having the concept of a “body && the 5 senses”. For example: Aries is related to Mars, element of fire, and is the concept of the soul “existing && having the right to be here”. Carries a warrior archetype energy. Gemini is the twins and is an element of air. It is the first to bring into our reality “thought & communication” as two people here on Earth can interact with each other. Communication travels through air waves. Carries a messenger type energy. So on and so forth with the rest of the zodiac each playing a role in the human experience. It is the soul’s evolution.
Grounded here in this reality and what little time we have here Taurus grasps on to everything. Reveling in her body. She indulges in sensuality. She wants luxury not because she is greedy, it's that she notices differences whether subtle or not and prefers that of quality. Quality typically ensures longer lasting. She has a tough time letting things go (whether a person, place, or material object) because she is sentimental. Deep down inside she knows that nothing is everlasting. Every flower must wilt. Her time on Earth will end one day. In the extreme tension and opposition of axis of Taurus we look at Scorpio. House of sex, taxes, & death. That’s a topic for another time…
There comes the tension of having to succumb to our actual physical/material needs in order to have a healthy foundation in spiritual pursuits. This is a very similar concept to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Stability provides peace and a calm nervous system so that humans move up the pyramid can focus on their dreams, goals, and aspirations. One can't do spiritual work with full focus if they are worried about their next meal or where they are going to sleep at night.
The thing about abundance is we start wanting more. We live in “space.” Things start to accumulate and they clutter. That’s the physical manifestation of the spiritual teaching.
In order to have a steady balance of energy one must start to get rid of the clutter to make room for new.
Which leads me into dealing with my own clutter.
I didn’t realize how much piled up in my accumulation of material possessions. I had closets worth of clothing from working at numerous retail stores, tons of pamphlets from traveling, boxes of engineering study materials from college, excessive shopping during the pandemic because I was “bored” and sucked into hyper-consumerism. Some of it was emotional spending and me buying things so I would feel better.
No regrets on anything from my past because a lot of those things brought me joy.
The issue is that they also weigh me down.
So what have I done to get rid of all this material possession accumulation?
How I Kept Textiles && Other Items Out of the Landfill in 2025
Such a basic concept, but not everyone knows that recycling is actually last on the list. In order of hierarchy from best to worst is: Reduce, Reuse, && Recycle.
Reduce
FIRST- I needed to detach emotionally from wanting to buy things constantly. I need to understand that I am part of the problem when it comes to the environment. I am also part of the solution. Moving forward I need to be more conscious about my purchasing habits. It affects me physically, emotionally, financially, and more. There is a difference between want and need. I do not need to deprive myself either. Use more discernment. Does this help me on my spiritual journey? Does this aid me on my path? Is it for the greater good?
Reuse
Divert from landfill. I know. I know. Not everyone wants my old stuff so I looked into other ways I could somehow keep less pounds of waste going to a graveyard. You have to understand I took solid waste management as part of my environmental engineering emphasis while studying for my bachelor’s in civil engineering. I am conscious about where my waste goes and it irks me knowing items get trapped in these landfills for decades or longer. I live in America in 2026 though. Of course I buy fast food every once and awhile, wrap gifts, and accept trinkets at festivals. Unless I live off the grid in a cave somewhere I am going to be creating waste. It hurts my heart and soul. I am always living in tension. There’s not much I can do… but I do what I can. If I can’t reduce then I reuse.
This was a way I could reuse and up-cycle. I did not read until after I send in my t-shirt scraps to Trashie Bag that they have a specific bag that I needed to purchase. Oops! Overall I like my blanket. It does take me back to college as mine was all college themed. I had a lot of sorority and engineering club tees. I wasn’t wearing them and they were so bulky to carry around with moving across the country and not having stability in my life. This cut down on having stacks of t-shirts now condensed into a “memory blanket.” I will be honest, I don't like the fleece they used. It’s already piling and I am a big advocate on washing things when I first get them hence why that was the first thing I did when it arrived. I will do my best to preserve it by not using it as much, washing it only when needed, and lastly no eating/drinking with it as it is highly sentimental. Total Spent was $134.48 for the 12x12, Full Size, and using 36 t-shirts. I recommend finding all your t-shirts prior to ordering while also finding extra because there are some rules you have to follow and not every type of t-shirt is accepted. They also limit the time frame from ordering to shipping to them, so if you want to extend your time they require a fee. Lastly, an extra fee for how you want the t-shirts laid out specifically otherwise they choose. I recommend keeping the most sentimental shirts towards the middle of the blanket. I was not too fond of how they did the edge of the blanket and more risk of the graphic being cut off. They actually cut off some squares in odd spots where I felt like they should've thought about how they were cutting with a little more delicacy and thought before they sewed it. Overall- it's great to cut down on amount of t-shirts you have in your closet, but I'm not 100% happy with the final product if I'm being honest.
It’s gone downhill sooo much, but it’s the best platform I like for resell. They take less of a chunk than consignment so you will make more money. That means you also have to do all the work yourself though including photos, listing, and shipping. They recently switched the included shipping to be ground and I heard orders take much longer to receive. Customer service isn’t that great if you run into issues selling or buying. Don’t fall for any of the extra gimmicky stuff like consignment or promoted closets if selling. Keep your overhead low, don’t fall for scams, and protect your identity. Currently Y2K is trending so if you worked at Abercrombie like I did or have clothes from 2003-2009 they are going for their original purchase price.
Using Old Packaging Supplies
When I order something online and it comes in a perfectly nice box, I save it. I know it causes clutter, but I reuse them for shipping out Poshmark orders and/or something to someone far away. I feel better knowing each time I reuse a box that it has now served 2 lifecycles instead of one by going straight to the garbage/recycling. If you have the room and sell anything online I highly highly consider reusing all shipping boxes from your previous purchases. Please use your judgement. It’s really tacky to send Poshmark orders in a Stoffer’s frozen meal box. I’m not saying do that… but if you ordered something from Ulta or Erin Condren that came in a perfectly nice box, keep that and use it for shipping out your next package.
Consignment
Not worth it. I lost money. They took over 50% of the sale and I ended up buying an 80's vintage sequin jacket because I got distracted while dropping off items. I relisted the jacket on my Poshmark. Not sure if it was a hypomanic purchase, but I don’t fully regret it. I had fun wearing that jacket… three times now. I would recommend consignment for someone who has more sought out luxury, high end designer goods in large quantities. Consignment is also for someone who does not care about doing it for the money and wants the convenience when getting rid of clothing. The brands I brought in were Tory Burch, Jimmy Choo, Wildfox, Tom Ford, Diane von Furstenberg, and Stuart Weitzman with not a very high return.
Donation Drop-Off
I am weary about these still. I’m not an investigative journalist. If you’d like me to look into it more I can, but I don’t really know where my things end up. I do know that I don’t like that Goodwill makes tons of profit and it’s not a non-profit. It’s lining some people’s pockets with your discarded junk and it’s not for the greater good. I never drop anything off at or shop at Goodwill. I'm unsure about Salvation Army.
Non-Profit Clothing Drive
Check your local community centers for any drives that may be happening in your area. I dropped off a box of business and business casual clothing to a non-profit called "Dress for Success" that helps women get jobs. I saw there was a winter coat drive at my library. These drives help those in need while assisting you as you de-clutter. Make sure you read all rules! This one I did for Dress for Success required clothing to be cleaned and folded in a sealed box.
Recycle
I did not know that people genuinely don't understand recycling isn't that great for the environment. It takes a lot of energy and water to clean the materials. Then it needs to go through a process that's typically chemical to break down the material to turn into another material. Lastly, the material produced is typically weaker than the virgin or original. Have you ever used a straw made out of recycled plastic? Yah they are horrible. There's no solution to straws they are all horrible for the environment and get stuck in wild animal's noses. See how Elektra Flora runs around in circles? Do I just not use straws every again? I love straws... The paradoxes and hypocrisy we face every day is excruciating at times. I don't want to hurt the animals or planet Earth.
This is a way to recycle clothing then in turn get points for things. I tried using it for a hotel and the discount was horrible. I don’t know if I need to try it again because I was booking too close to the dates I wanted to stay and in Miami which is a very expensive city. I haven’t used any Trashie points because a lot of the deals are along the lines of “get $20 off when you spend $40” as the reward. After I already spent $95.75 on 4 textile bags and 1 tech bag themselves. I’m just spending, spending, spending. It keeps the clothes and electronics out of the landfill, but at a price. If you choose Trashie, do it if you just care about recycling, don’t do it to seek any sort of reward. I’ve spent more than I've received any sort of reward or monetary return.
For additional reading on materials, design, and reducing how much we send to landfills I highly recommend reading "Cradle to Cradle" by William McDonough and Michael Braungart. It is essential for any environmentalist.
Wow this was a long blog post. Thank you for being here and engaging with my work. I know I'm all over the place. It's that Aquariuan energy honestly.
From chaos comes ideas.
Ideas turn into dreams.
Dreams require work.
Work requires structure.
Structure is the foundation of discipline.
Disicpline turns into freedom.
I hope to bring back Discovering Discipline && Finding Freedom soon. That show provided me some structure that I seek. I'm slowly, but steadily (in Taurean fashion) on track to finding freedom. It just takes lightening the load a little.
Happy 2026! Here's my latest mix if you haven't checked it out!
Let your inner light shine && the unique note in your voice be heard. - EF
Take care. Stay warm. Work hard.
xo,
Elektra Flora
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